i want to learn sparring!
not because i love getting hurt and being tortured
but because im sick of depending on other people to look after and 'protect' me
as much as a girl loves a knight in shining armour
its getting really draggy and a bore if you have to depend on someone else
and if that person is not joined from you hip-to-hip, how can you fully depend on that person?!!
they have their own life to live too you know!
being alone yesterday made me think of a thousand scenarios of positive and negative endings
and all the positive endings looked, sounded, and seemed very cartoonish
and the negative stuff also seemed very cartoonish
im not saying that those i thought of wont happen
i know they can happen
there's always a possibility
but then , when reality sinks in
and you start thinking : hell. where am i gonna get a laser?
thats when you realize everything youve been thinking of has been influenced by you watching powerpuffgirls or Kids Next Door or Spy Kids or Austen Powers too much in an attempt to get your mind off things
nowadays im feeling that being alone isnt such a bad thing
and it leads me to wonder
why was i so fearful and afraid of being alone?
i guess. everyone needs a moral support
and sometimes people need to be alone
and they should be left alone at times
because we all have to learn how to stand on our own two feet
someday
being alone now
isnt a problem to me
its more of an adaptive change.
what joey says is right
having friends outside school is always the best
because they are the ones who really understand and know you
people in school only see you for that while
and judge you by that six hours plus
inclusive of class gathering
but people outside know you and love you
for who you really are
why only when you graduate,
do people come to realize how good you really are
and how much they've misunderstood you?
why only when you start crying
start to break down
do you start having people giving fake concern
and behind youre back they're saying that
you're crying crocodile tears
and you just want people beside you
then comes a time
that everyday
you'd wish you're dead
you'd rather you be dead
because atleast you wont see how cruel
the world really is
atleast you wont experience how cruel it is inreality
~
im really tired and sick of everything
and i cant wait for them to end
i love YOU more and more each day ;
1:18 PM
