she turns on the computer at night, wondering what is there left to do, in this empty meaningless life she has been living, thinking back on the last few days, wondering when is nonsense november going to come to an end, its a living nightmare she has been experiencing for the past nine days since she last blogged. her only sense of solitude is when she's learning about her religion, or when she's dancing and singing, to her heart's content....
x--
yeah. basically, thats how i've been living my life
the past nine days i havent been blogging was because i wasnt in the mood to
lots of things happened and i got into a huge argument with the person that could always understand and make me happy, which i found, to be more important than many other people living beside and around me.
even though we've solved almost every single problem, one question remains unanswered. whether or not, this determines how each of us is going to live from now on. it is just a question of a buddign problem that we're going to face in the future and all i can do is just pray for the faith, the will and the strength to do the right thing and continue to be a living testimony for Christ.
i daresay, my recent crashcourse, the church services and cellgroup meeting, has changed my outlook in life. and i daresay that this, has also changed my character to a more positive one.
i do admit however, the french words do come out more than before when you piss me off, or when i'm with a person that always jokes with me (WILSON SOTONG ATHOLE JIEJIE!) , but other than that, i can say that i have pretty much changed alot throughout the holidays.
having to cope with my recent bible studies, cca, and a job, i can pretty much say i'm having a schedule of a working student and i realize how tough it is to earn money .
but that, will still not account to my recent outburst of kaninas' and pcbs' to a certain someone who demanded i pay bills or i dont go home. while i had half the mind and the imaginary skit going through my mind that i'll slap the forty bucks i earned onto the table or throw into his face and dont go home for the night , i still went back after my class and locked myself in the room.
i guess i've been a wreck lately
noticing so many of my friends having breakups,
its just not the right time for me to get into any relationships .
or continue any. or so i feel.
november, is a bad month for me. and i cant wait for it to be over
and OH, WHAT THE HECK, since i've been scolding a-z in malay,hokkien,chinese,english and whoknows whatotherlanguage,
lets just say one last thing before i end this post.
FUCK NOVEMBERS! (:
adios!
i love YOU more and more each day ;
1:08 AM
