okay. been quite awhile since i last touched this blog......
okok. not that long. (;
dance for everyday has just started. im feeling so exhausted. i took the bus home with jie today, we two were the first to chiong out. ahahs. first time i chiong out so fast. probably because i was late in meeting my friend
walked all the way to a 962 busstop, and bus-ed to my fren's place.
goshh . my whole thigh area is feeling so sore lah. i overstretched it today or smth. ):
dance was. okay until those two smart alecs tried to tell us what to do. i got so pissed off. they know NOTHING about dance, yet they wanna actsmart and talk much -.-
im still a little sore. im probably pms-ing. and feelign upset that Farah left.
but then, i've had a good three-day holiday, spending it to its fullest, and also ending up grounded -.-
went to escape with Rachel, Beeqi, Zhenying, Stella, Kimberly. first time all the rides were open! so it wasnt so bad and wasted lah. didnt want to go atfirst becaues of lack of funds. but then , i dugged around and found some spare cash.
went to meet the gang at night, and they brought me star-gazing just behind my block, at the big open field! gosh , i love them so so much!
especially daddie! he knew how much i love seeing stars, with all my best friends, that they all brought me to the open field! X)
mrneo's place on saturday!! his baby daughter is so adorable! Ruth Casey! ahahahs.
the baby was sooooo obedient to the dad . grr.
its like , mrneo says : Casey, SMILE!
and the baby just gives one of the most to-die-for killer adorable smile!
i cant wait to have sucha daughter on my own! (X
hanged there, ate pizza AND SLACKED until threeplus, then made my way back with the others. Rachel and i dropped at admiralty and i got my fren to bring an umbrella to fetch me :P
Rachel was waiting for someone and i pei-ed her until my fren came.
after that , went off to my fren's place to slack abit , left for cwp at around six.
met stella, kim, joyce and yanting and we all left for the airport to send Farah off.
gosh . that girl. i miss her so so so soso so so much .
waited until she went all the way in, before i made my way to look for brother.
took the train back with brother, and i gave him that puppy look to ask him to pei me home.
he relented and we ended up cabbing home from Toa Payoh.
i feel so guilty. the cabfare money was paid entirely by him , and he told me the money was saved up to bring me shopping ! ):
alamak. xia suay siah :P
anw. i was pretty much grounded from staying out late because of the whole coming-home-late-cus-i-was-at-the-airport thing. ah well.
it was pretty worth it. i wont be seeing that girl for another fouryears atleast. ):
girl. you left me with hugs, and memories deeply etched in my heart. you've not only left footsteps, but deep memories that will stay with me forever.
thanks for making a difference in my life. (:
went to church just yesterday, and i got .. healing. and understood more about life.
i guess, nothing else can compare other than a good Easter drama of how God died for us on the cross.
the sound effects and scripted play of the drama was so real. it was like, i can close my eyes and still visualize what exactly is going on. i will never forget how Christ carried a cross, with His bloodied body, so that he can die for our sins.
at that moment, i realize how much i have always been sinning. yet. Christ did so much . He died on the cross twothousand years ago even before knowing me. even before i was born. can anyone else give a greater sacrifice than this?
as i'm typing, i realize, the emptiness in my heart, the part that i always felt missing, is something i can choose. i can choose whether to fill my heart with what i've been avoiding, with what i've been knowing, reading, hearing but not putting to action, or to leave it empty by just continue hearing about it .
the emptiness i always had, the love that i always wanted, is the love that i want Him to give me. i realise now that , i've always had all the love i could ever need or want in the world.
i mean , look at me.
i got a family that loves me, even though the communication of love is different, and even though we pretty much have quarrels everyday.
i got friends who love me, like natalie, brother, jaslyn, eileen, and the rest of them ( you know who you are) who are there for me at my lowest.
i got a bestfriend, that loves me, whose been putting up with my nonsense and temper, being there for me, never complaining that much. who tries to give in even though we both are pretty stubborn. who is literally like an extended family member, who knows me more than i know myself at times.
but i got a God that loves me more.
and yet i've been rejecting His love while i accepted other people's love, yet felt insecure about everything.
nothing in this world is forever. people disappoint you time and again .
but yet i still choose to put total trust, love and hope into everyone who are of the world, and in the world.
why? am i stupid to do so? its like , you know that people will disappoint you, but you still trust and love with all you have. why?
perhaps its because life is pretty meaningless if you dont put youre 100% into it.
maybe thats why i still trust people who 'betray' me, who 'loved' me and all.
maybe thats why i forgive easily. and i love again .
im not perfect. i still struggle with resentment, i still sin. i still do some things wrong.
but im still learning. and im not perfect.
im probably seen as naiive to alot of people.
maybe even stupid. for believing people i never should have or should trust in the first place.
and maybe thats why i get more trouble than most of my friends.
but this is all part and parcel of life i guess.
you walk, you run, you fall. you stand up again. and the whole process repeats itself
i guess. life is not all about how badly you fall, or how much you run. but how you stand up again, and start to walk and learn how to run again. which is most important.
i guess. instead of talking so much, i should also start putting my words to action 1oo%.
i realize that i can do what i say. for the first 45% of the time. after that , i get too lazy to continue.
tata people. im exhausted. (;
i love YOU more and more each day ;
8:29 PM
